As my infrequent need to do frequent blogging struck today, I was quite perplexed as to what to write about. Maybe, if you’re blogger you might have experienced this, there are days when you want to blog but don’t have the time to sit down and type your thoughts into a coherent post; whereas on the other days there’s the will and time but no inspiration. Anyway. I decided to dedicate a post to this year that is passing by at a supersonic speed. Like seriously, is it 2016 already? I am still in 2010 mode reading Harry Potter for the nth time after getting done with the damn ICSE board exams. Phew. Coming back. There are people who count years in age, some by moments of their life but I have always counted them in lessons. So, I’ll share my year by the lessons I received.
Travelling this year has struck a highpoint in my life. I visited about 10 places and each place left me a bit richer in experience and understanding of the Indian ways of life. Books are a beautiful gateway to imaginary worlds but travelling is living the new world.
Tea Gardens of Darjeeling. I could catch a plane for one of those heavenly cups of Darjeeling chai brewed fresh by the tea estate shops.
The first lesson that I would like to recount was during one such episode of travelling. On the way to Gangtok from Darjeeling we decided to grab breakfast and parked our tourist vehicle in front of a medley of shops. There were medium range restaurants, thatched roof eateries and small shops selling biscuits and chips. We were confused as to which one to enter and parted in groups of two to enquire which served sandwiches. Mom and I proceeded to the biggest among the ones present there owing to its posh interiors which (should have) ensured hygiene and quality service. We asked the owner if they could pack sandwiches immediately as we didn’t have much time on our hands. Our queries received a disgruntled nod as he got busy in amassing more customers. We stood there for about fifteen minutes after which he refused us saying we had to do with whatever they had. By that time my father and sister called us from the place they had found. Seeing the little, dark, eatery with thatched roof we frowned at the dirty interiors and hesitated to go inside, but just then the owner came with a huge smile on his face and showed us an unoccupied table where we could sit. They didn’t have sandwiches, but within minutes his daughter (I suppose) served us platters of Paranthas, curry, curd, pickled bamboo shoots and momos. He came in between to ask if we were enjoying the meal and our empty plates were refilled promptly. I sat there and observed how he delegated the same attention and hospitality to each customer. When we left the place, I couldn’t help but muse on the lines of “All that glitters is not gold.” The size of a person’s heart and nature isn’t determined by the size of the roof he’s sheltered under, I had to conclude.
Bakthang Falls, Gangtok.
Next thing this year taught me was to be more patient and deal with disappointments, which is still a lesson in progress. Have you ever wondered- aren’t disappointments, anger, sadness, etc. nothing but emotions that stem from one thing- Expectation? Be it a relationship that soured or a simple movie that you couldn’t watch due to unavailability of tickets. There had been expectations stacking up and once you add reality on the top of it, the whole pile crashes. It’s such a hard lesson for me because no matter how hard you try the birth of a thought is twinned with the birth of an expectation. Now, whenever I am faced with a disappointment I handle myself pretty well at the moment. It’s just that it mentally stacks up to a private meltdown. On one such morning when I was cornered by pretty scary devilish thoughts in my head I did one thing, from “I’m tired of waking up in tears. .” (Silhouette // Owlcity. It’s a frackin amazing song. Don’t judge it. Pliz.) I changed to Kenny Sebastian’s stand up comedy, and 5 Kenny Sebastian, 4 Pretentious Movie Reviews and 2 Abish Mathew later when I had laughed my guts out I suddenly thought,“Dude, what were you so sad about?”. From freaking cold Siberia I was in a Honolulu state of emotions. I guess that’s when I learnt no matter how end of the world you feel there is always a reason to smile. You just have to want to smile again.
The third and last thing (for this post) has to be something that has been bothering me in general – Humans on Social Media. And no I’m not gonna pull a Khan and start a debate on intolerance. Neither do I have a movie releasing around the corner nor do I have the urge to comment on everything. What has me perplexed is the unabashed self display on social media. Be it in the way we have reached a point where we need to drown another’s opinion to make our own heard. Be it shamelessly promoting our deeds of selfish goodness on social media. Be it taking selfies at the rate of 120/day (Like c’mon I wish our trains didn’t delay the way some selfies are uploaded immediately after every hangout). The other day I was walking around in our medical college campus with a close friend of mine. She went on and on talking about her life, body image problems and people. Suddenly I realized how she had created a mental meter of comparison, the one which compared how she looked in real to WHAT PEOPLE LOOK ONLINE! I couldn’t but help smile and showed her two pictures. One that of an acquaintance taken in real and the other her profile picture. Umpteen filters later her dusky Indian skin was shining like a luminous bulb so much so that a few strands of her black were nearing light brown. We laughed over it and her insecurities were put aside for the day. But later when I thought of it, I wondered how many more women open social media and compare the number of likes on their post with others’, the number of pleasing comments on their profile pictures, twitter followers and how many tweak everything they feel, have or look only to gain social approval? And when both of these groups meet and clash they create an insecurity over another’s hidden insecurity. Ha.
The thing to remember is that people put the most aesthetically pleasing parts of themselves online. The flawed parts remain behind the screen.
In these kinds of situations an amazing quote comes to mind –
“You can never look like the girl in the magazine. The girl in the magazine doesn’t even look like the girl in the magazine.”
That’s it. I hope and pray that 2016 is the year we find our strengths to vanquish the ghosts of our past and create a future that’s in tune with our dreams. Love, happiness and peace to everyone.
Cheers,
Parnini 🙂
View from a temple in Gangtok.
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