‘Her’ father.

(This story is actually a repost from my older blog. I wrote this 3 years back and haven’t edited it – for with passage of time you change and along with it your way of perceiving the world; but, I wanted to preserve the way I wrote and thought then.)

He sat there, crying like a baby outside the hospital ward. In between he let out a good snort into a white handkerchief, now dirty with yellow patches kept by his side on the bench. Several people passed by him- patients with hung faces, their relatives trying to hide their annoyance at being dragged to the hospital to care for them on a weekend day, nurses in acid washed white sarees, doctors from other wards,hospital attendants, stray dogs searching for crumbs of food-few stared at him, few chose to ignore him but one came up to him.

The man sat down beside him and asked, “Bhaina, are you okay? Why are you crying?”.

Shashikant looked up at him and stopped crying. It felt okay to cry privately but crying in front of a person hurt his male ego. He didn’t answer at first but the man persuaded so he finally cleared his throat and said heavily, “It’s a girl.”

The man looked at him questioningly.

Shashikant sniffed and explained, “My wife delivered a girl. Again. We already had one daughter now she cursed me with another. What else can I do than crying at my fate.”, he spat on the ground. The other man looked at him affronted.

“Brother, what are you saying? In this modern world you’re still carrying this age old thinking? Its not justified. Daughters aren’t a curse, instead they are a blessing. Nowadays, what’s the difference between a daughter and a son? They are equals and even better in many fields. Girls are ace in studies than boys. They are scaling heights of Mt. Everest, adorning the chair of the President, Prime Minister, the Speaker of Parliament. Becoming entrepreneurs and starting companies. Kalpana Chawla, Kiran Majumdar Shaw, Indira Gandhi, Meera Kumar, Sudha Murthy.. phew, one can get tired of saying names of female stalwarts, yet you talk like this?”, exclaimed the man.

“That’s just talk, Sir. The world is still where it was. In fact, a lot more behind. Rapes happen everyday like a natural occurrence. Every day I open the pages of newspaper it’s with the fear that a rape hasn’t happened anywhere near the place that my daughter frequents. Every morning when I have breakfast with her, I put new restrictions on her thinking that it’ll keep her safe. Every evening when I return from office, I stand at the doorway and call her name first to know if she is there in the house and not outside where with the dark sky, humans with dark hearts start to prowl. After seeing her asleep in her bed safe for the day i go to sleep in peace. I don’t allow her to wear short dresses. I know they say dress doesn’t provoke rape, but they surely attract the roving eye. I don’t allow her to go on class trips for the fear something untoward would happen. I don’t let her take calls or give numbers to male friends unless it is necessary so that she doesn’t have a boyfriend who will post edited pictures of her on porn websites as revenge after breakup. I don’t let her use social media cause I’ve heard how men send friend requests from fake accounts and chat, exploiting girls. I force her to study hard, not because I can’t give her a future but because after marriage if her husband subjects her to domestic violence and marital rape she has the guts and the independence to walk away from the sham of her marriage. I scold her, warn her, use a raised voice to make her tough. She thinks I don’t know but I do know she hates me. She hates the man who wants to keep her safe but she doesn’t understand the world prowling outside the door to take advantage of her. But what do I do? I’m her father. And, what can a father of a daughter in today’s world do? And now i have one more daughter who’ll hate me for doing the same to her.” finished Shashikant with sobs raking his whole body.

The man who had confronted him was taken aback. He spluttered for words to speak, but couldn’t find an answer. He sat for awhile, then got up patting Shashikant on the back and went on his way.

Behind him, Shashikant resumed crying again.

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